Ok I admit... there are a gazillion questions that I want to ask, but am afraid to do so. Sometimes it just dawns to me how utterly unprepared I am for the working world. How immature I am in handling relationships (friends mostly), how inconsiderately I can be when I am.. well.. inconsiderate...
I mean c'mon!!!!!!! Its 20 years old!! Hello?! Knock knock!!
Every morning its the same thing.. Wake up.. Groggy.. Sleepy.... Look at clock.. 2pm... WTF? Walk down for breakfast.... much munch...... get a drink.... turn the computer on... Play ragnarok.... msn.. blog.. sleep... repeat....
=.=''
I'm never going to get anywhere at this rate.
I give myself 99 reasons to slack.. but 1 reason is enough for me to slap myself on the face.
Times up. Your not a little boy anymore dude.... Time to open those windows and feel the change sweep you up and spit you out on randomness that you can never imagine until the deepest darkest parts of your soul is tested to the limits where you never have a mere chance of repeating if you made a single mistake and cursed for life with suffering you can never even dream to feel, pain that will rip you apart and torture that will be merciless... Muahahaha!!! =.='' (what the heck just happened? *looks around*)
There is always a reason....
Not waking up on time?
I just feel like it. Its the holidays! C'mon!!
Not eating or drinking on scedule?
I'm dieting. (=.='' yea right man.. ur just lazy)
Not exercising frequently?
Oh c'mon I do! (yea.. finger exercise isn't gonna keep you running till you're 80 you twit)
Not trying harder to remember what's going on today?
I don't have the time. (Then blackout sessions gives you time to read the newspaper??)
People are working and you're lazying at home?
I got better things to do. (Like what? Counting the number of houseflies tha buzz across the monitor?)
Not reading enuff even when its the holidays?
The book is too heavy. (=.='' **** u!!)
Going out for so much late night yum cha sessions?
Its important!! My frens are there! (You don't have to do it 3 days in a row??)
Staying up late every night?
Its my freedom!! (Then use it in the morning, at least you get to see the sun, you nocturnal dumpling!)
Havent been out for jogs?
Weather unpredictable. Might rain. (=.=''' then run indoors. Oh wait~ the floors too sliperry for you???)
Havent been revising for University?
(Revise wat? I havent got the letters yet! (Read lar your old books!!)
Haven't been using your brain?
Who says? I have to concentrate while doing quests on RO ok? (=.='' you wuss.....)
Trapping myself at home all day?
I do the laundry!! (You hang them inside your garage!! It means out of the gate!!)
Failing to update your blogs?
C'mon, I'm doing it! (Ok... You're lucky on this one...)
Never bothering to keep your room clean?
We have a maid!! *smiles aristocratically* (=.='' that makes you worst then a wuss)
Not offering to do chores around the house?
See above.
Not answering msn messages even when they are on?
Its 20 pixels away!!! Lazy!!! (=.='' dimwit)
So..... all said and done.. I henceforth shall not give myself anymore reasons to slack. xDD Well... hopefully....
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Headache!!!!
Seriously!! Having them for days now. Its like migrane expect this has a higher intensity level. =.=''
The Genting trip has been bugging me for the past few days. I can't sleep, I haven't had a decent meal, and my credits running out.
Been running around palces, doing 10 people's job all at once.
And no one's there to help.
Just great..... Ouch! There it goes again!
I better get some sleep. Need to do confirmations tomorrow.
And o yes.... the new price is RM99 (RM5 is fer emergencies.. I'll refund you the cash after the trip, cuz I dont want to keep raising it over and over if soething pops up.)
PS: If you're reading this do me a favour. Do confirm your attendance asap. Payment can be made by cash on the day of the trip (I dun suggest this... I won't have enuff to pay the Genting's office), or you can bank it into my acc. Sms me n I'll short mess it to ya. I forgot the number... =.='' Check in for more details on the trip. I'll be doing the final updates tomorrow.
The Genting trip has been bugging me for the past few days. I can't sleep, I haven't had a decent meal, and my credits running out.
Been running around palces, doing 10 people's job all at once.
And no one's there to help.
Just great..... Ouch! There it goes again!
I better get some sleep. Need to do confirmations tomorrow.
And o yes.... the new price is RM99 (RM5 is fer emergencies.. I'll refund you the cash after the trip, cuz I dont want to keep raising it over and over if soething pops up.)
PS: If you're reading this do me a favour. Do confirm your attendance asap. Payment can be made by cash on the day of the trip (I dun suggest this... I won't have enuff to pay the Genting's office), or you can bank it into my acc. Sms me n I'll short mess it to ya. I forgot the number... =.='' Check in for more details on the trip. I'll be doing the final updates tomorrow.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Genting Highlands 101!!!
Heyz all U6K folk out there! So its going to be settled like this. Just got confirmation from Genting and they are giving us an awesome deal. Though the price will be a little more than expected, the activities packed are well, worth every penny.
Genting 2 day 1 night stay:
Activities we are paying for include:
- Snow World
- Animal Kingdom
- Outdoor and Indoor full themepark tickets
- 'Dream' the show at Pavillion on the first night
- Bus fares
- Complimentary skyway (still argueing for it)
- Buffet Lunch
The total sum for the stuff we will be able to do amounts to RM 74. Its way more pricy than the usual summer holiday packages, but the number of activities I was able to squeeze in is fenomenal. Seriously.. its really worth it.
As for accomodation, I am still waiting for Mr. KCK to give me the details on it. The current offer we were given by Genting prior to my mom's constant pestering (she's good... =.='') is a full suite for RM20 per person... which means the total sum will amount to RM94. Place of stay is still under argument.. but be rest assured it won't be a wooden plank and straw pillows.
As for the trip's details, I have made slight changes to the date, so as to accomodate more people, who are working or studying that day, making the preplanned Sun-Mon trip KIVed.
Date: Sat 28th March - Sun 29th March
Time of departure: 10 a.m. at Imbi Market (Transportation can be redecided later)
So that's the rough planner for now. I'll update it as soon as I get the futher details. But yes, this trip is real, its not a fake, I'm not joking, and we are seriously putting effort into letting U6K meet up in Genting for what might be our final gathering before we go our separate ways. ^^
So if you have any inquiries, feel free to contact me. You have my no. xDD
I'll be busy calling people to tell them the changes after this... And I still gotta blog about Cameron, so.... hold on to your phones and wait ba! xDDDD
Genting 2 day 1 night stay:
Activities we are paying for include:
- Snow World
- Animal Kingdom
- Outdoor and Indoor full themepark tickets
- 'Dream' the show at Pavillion on the first night
- Bus fares
- Complimentary skyway (still argueing for it)
- Buffet Lunch
The total sum for the stuff we will be able to do amounts to RM 74. Its way more pricy than the usual summer holiday packages, but the number of activities I was able to squeeze in is fenomenal. Seriously.. its really worth it.
As for accomodation, I am still waiting for Mr. KCK to give me the details on it. The current offer we were given by Genting prior to my mom's constant pestering (she's good... =.='') is a full suite for RM20 per person... which means the total sum will amount to RM94. Place of stay is still under argument.. but be rest assured it won't be a wooden plank and straw pillows.
As for the trip's details, I have made slight changes to the date, so as to accomodate more people, who are working or studying that day, making the preplanned Sun-Mon trip KIVed.
Date: Sat 28th March - Sun 29th March
Time of departure: 10 a.m. at Imbi Market (Transportation can be redecided later)
So that's the rough planner for now. I'll update it as soon as I get the futher details. But yes, this trip is real, its not a fake, I'm not joking, and we are seriously putting effort into letting U6K meet up in Genting for what might be our final gathering before we go our separate ways. ^^
So if you have any inquiries, feel free to contact me. You have my no. xDD
I'll be busy calling people to tell them the changes after this... And I still gotta blog about Cameron, so.... hold on to your phones and wait ba! xDDDD
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Consider This
I usually hav soooo much time I juust write and write and write... Most of the crap what I write about are targetted to frens... relatives.. This is is no different...
There is a fine line drawn between reality and dwelling in fictional hypocracy. One moment you are one person, the next you are another. The problem is... Unless it is under the special conditions that the people around you know you sooooooooo well that we can relate and identify it for ourselves.... you have to let us know.
Its really disheartening.... Trying so hard to stand out in the crowd, people forget the most crucial and basic understanding of what means to be a person - commonsense. So what if we have an arguement? Patch things up! So what if you don't see eye to eye? Turn the other check, relax, unwind, then take some time to reconsider your options. Its not, for godsake, like we just knew each other over the phone one random day. We have been here through it all!! Doens't it mean anything to you?
And its not, I mean never wrong to lower yourself. We all have feelings. Some are more fragile than the rest. Its no biggy. I personally have my limits too, and time and time again its been snapped. But I learned to patch myself up.
So what's so hard about just leaving up to the expection of a fren? Considering the time and refusal to take a step backwards already shows how unsincere you already are!
And furthermore.... Talking about being confused, innocent and helpless in one corner, and still refusing to face the facts in another.. Its pure hypocracy ain't it? Don't go around telling the world that you can't help it... but you had everything to do with it in the first place. Don't judge one person and mismatch them against yourself. In my eyes, you are not better. You are way worst.
And for your information, we learn to accept frens in a package. When you pledge yourself to a fren, you are ready to take on every part of that fren, be it the good or the bad. So if you refuse to accept one's weakness, then go the other way. We still stand by our choice and respect people for who they are. I stand by mine.
I fell awful to a certain point I want to kill myself... To whoever is listening, and to those who want to blame me for that awful move that I've done, I'm all ears. The only part of this entire ordeal is that I should have never trusted certain people in the first place. I never figured any of this out until I got that message today. My deepest apologies... If you will take them.
I know nothing I say or do will retrace my mistaken steps. I blame myself and my bitter-poor judgement for that.
There is a fine line drawn between reality and dwelling in fictional hypocracy. One moment you are one person, the next you are another. The problem is... Unless it is under the special conditions that the people around you know you sooooooooo well that we can relate and identify it for ourselves.... you have to let us know.
Its really disheartening.... Trying so hard to stand out in the crowd, people forget the most crucial and basic understanding of what means to be a person - commonsense. So what if we have an arguement? Patch things up! So what if you don't see eye to eye? Turn the other check, relax, unwind, then take some time to reconsider your options. Its not, for godsake, like we just knew each other over the phone one random day. We have been here through it all!! Doens't it mean anything to you?
And its not, I mean never wrong to lower yourself. We all have feelings. Some are more fragile than the rest. Its no biggy. I personally have my limits too, and time and time again its been snapped. But I learned to patch myself up.
So what's so hard about just leaving up to the expection of a fren? Considering the time and refusal to take a step backwards already shows how unsincere you already are!
And furthermore.... Talking about being confused, innocent and helpless in one corner, and still refusing to face the facts in another.. Its pure hypocracy ain't it? Don't go around telling the world that you can't help it... but you had everything to do with it in the first place. Don't judge one person and mismatch them against yourself. In my eyes, you are not better. You are way worst.
And for your information, we learn to accept frens in a package. When you pledge yourself to a fren, you are ready to take on every part of that fren, be it the good or the bad. So if you refuse to accept one's weakness, then go the other way. We still stand by our choice and respect people for who they are. I stand by mine.
I fell awful to a certain point I want to kill myself... To whoever is listening, and to those who want to blame me for that awful move that I've done, I'm all ears. The only part of this entire ordeal is that I should have never trusted certain people in the first place. I never figured any of this out until I got that message today. My deepest apologies... If you will take them.
I know nothing I say or do will retrace my mistaken steps. I blame myself and my bitter-poor judgement for that.
Count To Ten and I'm Gone
Writing this lonely song,
About a little boy who's set to see the world.
He is just like you and me,
But now its time for him to know,
That nothing, will ever remain the same...
The only constant is change,
Nothing remains the same.
One moment you see clear blue skies,
The very next its cloudy and grey.
What used to be, used to be;
What's important is what's gonna be,
What'll he'll find, what he'll see,
All that's he's known, might no longer be.
What he loves he has to let go,
What he believes, he no longer knows,
Where he might go, Who he might be,
Its going to be all up to him to show...
So that little boy, with his little dreams,
Set aside what it already seems,
To be the present, and brace yourself,
For the times ahead, its hardships and dread.
May it be lonely, or just sad and blue.
May it be jovial, or jolly too,
May it be smoothsails,
Or just happy-trails...
He knows...
That its time for him to go...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Secrets
Its in all of us. The darkest part of our minds, enclosed.. sealed in every way possible. Its just a blurry image, or a vivid picture... A real-time footage.. or the glance of a passerby.. Its in all of us... We have it.... And there's no telling what It will do to us.
Secrets are... well... complicated. We keep them from the outside world.. Because we fear. We are afraid that because people know something else about what they already know about us.. We wont be the same way again. We won't be wanted. We'll be an outcast. And then comes the guilt... Are we being honest to each other? Keeping is secret is no different from telling a lie. We are hiding the truth, twisting the facts, conjuring unpleasant feelings within that will sooner or later drive us insane.
The truth about secrets is that... They are yours.. and solely yours. There is no responsibility that, in any way possible, we OUGHT to tell people just because we feel like 'If I'm the only one to know, am I being selfish?' or 'If I dun let ppl know, no matter how bad it is... I'm not being honest to myself'.
Its a secret that I sing in the bathroom. Does anyone needs to know that? Unless my bathroom is made out of tissue paper and the neighbours think I suck, then by all means its my bad...
But its a secret worth telling... that your best friend's soul mate is sleeping with another. Because he/she needs to know. And not telling him/her will put her in a bad state.**terms and conditions apply, assuming that whoever is about to hear it suffers from serious mental illness, is emotionally unstable, or will just kill him/herself.. then... please judge your options properly.... =.=''
A secret..
Is yours.
That's a fact.
No one can take that away from you, no matter how the world might change. Its my secret, and I was there, I experienced it, thus it is on my judgement that shud allow or reject anyone from knowing the truth. No one can come up to you and demand that you are keeping something from them.. that they have the right to know... unless of course.. It is a matter of life and death... it relates to people .. it is beneficial... it will save someone from utter humiliation... or you just want them to be a part of you secret... other than that... there's no pressure in having to let anyone know.
A secret will remain a secret.. as long as you want it to.
Its your to keep. Yours alone.
So if you have a secret, and you think it's worth it.. share it.. because you will feel all the better.
But you you have a secret sooo deep it will change the view of whoever hears about it 360 degrees... be brave. If you have to... But if you know... and its a fact.. that reality is as cruel as a leopard's lust and hunger upon its prey.. then you be the better man.
Sometimes its better to keep some secrets locked within you, because it will do more harm than right.
Its not wrong to keep a secret.
Its wrong to have a secret that has something to do with whoever you are hiding it from... and you know that by not telling... you are doing harm to that person.
That's a secret.
Secrets are... well... complicated. We keep them from the outside world.. Because we fear. We are afraid that because people know something else about what they already know about us.. We wont be the same way again. We won't be wanted. We'll be an outcast. And then comes the guilt... Are we being honest to each other? Keeping is secret is no different from telling a lie. We are hiding the truth, twisting the facts, conjuring unpleasant feelings within that will sooner or later drive us insane.
The truth about secrets is that... They are yours.. and solely yours. There is no responsibility that, in any way possible, we OUGHT to tell people just because we feel like 'If I'm the only one to know, am I being selfish?' or 'If I dun let ppl know, no matter how bad it is... I'm not being honest to myself'.
Its a secret that I sing in the bathroom. Does anyone needs to know that? Unless my bathroom is made out of tissue paper and the neighbours think I suck, then by all means its my bad...
But its a secret worth telling... that your best friend's soul mate is sleeping with another. Because he/she needs to know. And not telling him/her will put her in a bad state.**terms and conditions apply, assuming that whoever is about to hear it suffers from serious mental illness, is emotionally unstable, or will just kill him/herself.. then... please judge your options properly.... =.=''
A secret..
Is yours.
That's a fact.
No one can take that away from you, no matter how the world might change. Its my secret, and I was there, I experienced it, thus it is on my judgement that shud allow or reject anyone from knowing the truth. No one can come up to you and demand that you are keeping something from them.. that they have the right to know... unless of course.. It is a matter of life and death... it relates to people .. it is beneficial... it will save someone from utter humiliation... or you just want them to be a part of you secret... other than that... there's no pressure in having to let anyone know.
A secret will remain a secret.. as long as you want it to.
Its your to keep. Yours alone.
So if you have a secret, and you think it's worth it.. share it.. because you will feel all the better.
But you you have a secret sooo deep it will change the view of whoever hears about it 360 degrees... be brave. If you have to... But if you know... and its a fact.. that reality is as cruel as a leopard's lust and hunger upon its prey.. then you be the better man.
Sometimes its better to keep some secrets locked within you, because it will do more harm than right.
Its not wrong to keep a secret.
Its wrong to have a secret that has something to do with whoever you are hiding it from... and you know that by not telling... you are doing harm to that person.
That's a secret.
Finally! We get to test our Vocals!!!
Went to skul to get my SPM cert today... NO.. I'm graduated STPM.... I'm 20... Dun get the wrong idea. Got other papers certified as well.. All in the 'happy' process of going to UTAR in June.
The most eventful part of the day... happened just right after we got all of the papers signed and approved by Mrs. Lim (She just appeared in the staffroom and happened to be the person in charge! OK.. Convenientnya...) and were waiting for Mok. The day before, Mok very slightly-out-of-ear-shotly whispered that we shud go sing k. I went ok... So when morning came, I sent a message to everyone telling them to meet at BTS. I wasn't serious. They were. And so there we were.
The song selections I tell you... =.='' First time in my singing k lifetime we sang high-pitched songs one after another after another. Ever tried Jay Chou's 'Tak Bleh Cakap Punya Secret' followed by 'Sudah Cakap Punya Bahagia kat mana'??? Kye Hoong was at his neutral state, but when the songs by Justin came by, he was dam 7 good! Chern Chiang wasn't bad either... taking on the English part of the songs. xD Mok... sigh.... dam ass lame. Sound: 9/10. Presentation and survivability:1/10 xDDDDDD Robson... So good he can sing with his eyes closed and without using his hands!
It was a nice day. Lol. Enjoyed it. Though I am now dam tired but decided to blog about it b4 I forget everything. Toodles.
PS: No pics... Forgot to bring the camera.. =.='' So u imagine ba... 6 ma lat lou in 1 room. >.<
The most eventful part of the day... happened just right after we got all of the papers signed and approved by Mrs. Lim (She just appeared in the staffroom and happened to be the person in charge! OK.. Convenientnya...) and were waiting for Mok. The day before, Mok very slightly-out-of-ear-shotly whispered that we shud go sing k. I went ok... So when morning came, I sent a message to everyone telling them to meet at BTS. I wasn't serious. They were. And so there we were.
The song selections I tell you... =.='' First time in my singing k lifetime we sang high-pitched songs one after another after another. Ever tried Jay Chou's 'Tak Bleh Cakap Punya Secret' followed by 'Sudah Cakap Punya Bahagia kat mana'??? Kye Hoong was at his neutral state, but when the songs by Justin came by, he was dam 7 good! Chern Chiang wasn't bad either... taking on the English part of the songs. xD Mok... sigh.... dam ass lame. Sound: 9/10. Presentation and survivability:1/10 xDDDDDD Robson... So good he can sing with his eyes closed and without using his hands!
It was a nice day. Lol. Enjoyed it. Though I am now dam tired but decided to blog about it b4 I forget everything. Toodles.
PS: No pics... Forgot to bring the camera.. =.='' So u imagine ba... 6 ma lat lou in 1 room. >.<
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Taking a breather before life sucks you dry....
Its always the same everyday isn't it.... From the very moment you open your eyes till the moment you close them..
What's there before you is never enough...
What you wish to have.. you can never achieve...
What you want done... There's never enough time...
What you refuse to believe, its a fact...
What you understand, turns out as jiberrish in the end...
What you trust, backfires on you..
What you love, loves another..
What you confide in, shuts it doors...
What you think u know, seems to get futher and futher away...
We see only one view of everything.. that's our problem... Like a potrait hung on a wall.. Many glance at it beauty and forget to see its meaning, let alone what's behind it.
Once there was a fish named Hollis. He loved swimming in the warm sea with the rest of the fish in his school. He was very happy.
And then one day, something amazing happened. He started to grow.
And he grew.
And he grew some more.
Soon, he was humongous!
Hollis was so big that he frightened the other fish. If Hollis wasn’t careful, he could crush the other fish with his enormous tail. And, the prospect of Hollis eating them for lunch was not an appealing thought at all.
Then one day the other fish went to the teacher to complain.
“Hollis has to go. He is way too big for our school,” said one fish.
“I keep getting kicked,” said another.
“I am afraid of him,” added a third. They all agreed. Hollis had to go.
His teacher was very sad.
He loved Hollis, but he knew the fish were right. He went to Hollis and explained the situation.
“Hollis, you are too big for our school,” said the teacher.
“I think you need to find some fish your own size.”
“Where will I go?” asked Hollis.
“This is the only school I have ever attended.”
“I don’t know,” said the teacher.
“But you can’t stay here. You are scaring the other fish and they do not want you around.”
Hollis was very sad.
He watched as the school swam away. He was now alone.
Hollis drifted through the water.
He had nowhere to go and nothing to do.
“Why can’t I be normal?” he asked.
“Hollis, what are you doing?” asked God.
Hollis was startled. God had never spoken to him before.
“I am sad,” said Hollis.
“I’m so big that none of the other fish want me around.
Why did you make me grow so big?”
“I created you for a very special purpose,” said God.
“Swim towards the setting sun and I will tell you what to do.”
Hollis obeyed.
He swam towards the sun.
He swam as fast as he could until he could no longer see the sun.
And then God spoke,
“Now, swim towards the North star.”
Hollis swam all night until he could no longer see the star.
And God spoke again, “See the storm clouds in the distance?”
“Yes Lord,” answered Hollis.
“Swim until you are in the middle of the storm,” said God.
Hollis swam until he was in the middle of the raging storm.
And then God asked,
“Do you see the ship?”
Hollis looked up and saw the hull of a ship.
“In a moment, a man will be thrown from that ship,” said God.
“He is my servant Jonah. I have a very important mission for him. I want you to swallow him and keep him safe.”
Up on the boat, all of the people were frightened by the raging storm.
They tried to row to safety, but the storm only got worse.
And then the men started saying,
“Someone must have angered their god. We should throw lots to see who is responsible for this storm.”
The men cast lots. It was revealed that Jonah was the guilty man.
“What have you done to put us all in such danger?” asked the captain of the ship.
“I was commanded by the one true God to go to the city of Nineveh and preach to the people,” said Jonah.
“I did not obey. That is why we are in this storm.”
“Please, pray to your God, so that we all might survive,” begged the Captain.
“Throw me into the sea,” said Jonah, “and your ship will be saved.”
The men grabbed Jonah and tossed him into the ocean. As soon as he hit the water, the storm ended. Everyone on board gave thanks to the one true God.
Under the boat, Hollis watched as Jonah sank in the sea.
He quickly swallowed Jonah with one big gulp.
“Hollis,” said God. “Swim towards the East.
When you see land, I will tell you what to do.”
For three days, Hollis swam towards the East.
As the sun rose on the third day, Hollis could see land in the distance.
“Hollis,” said God. “When you are close to the shore, I want you to spit Jonah out so that he may complete my mission.”
Hollis did exactly as God commanded and spit Jonah onto the land.
Jonah thanked God for sending Hollis and set out for Nineveh to complete God’s mission.
God asked Hollis, “Do you remember asking why you were so big?”
“Yes,” said Hollis.
“I created you to fulfill this very special purpose,” said God.
“Your story will be told throughout history to remind everyone that I have a plan for their life.”
As he swam away, he met a school of very large fish.
“Are you Hollis?” asked the teacher.
“Yes,” said Hollis.
“God said you would be coming,” said the teacher.
“We want you to join our school.” Hollis was very excited.
From that day on, He was a humongous and happy fish.
THE END
Its not that I'm seriously religious or anything. But I learnt bits and pieces in this story.. and there's a reason why things keep happening to us. So instead of thinking about how bad or how deep of a hole we are in, why not think about the disasters above that is happening without us being trapped in it'?
What's there before you is never enough...
What you wish to have.. you can never achieve...
What you want done... There's never enough time...
What you refuse to believe, its a fact...
What you understand, turns out as jiberrish in the end...
What you trust, backfires on you..
What you love, loves another..
What you confide in, shuts it doors...
What you think u know, seems to get futher and futher away...
We see only one view of everything.. that's our problem... Like a potrait hung on a wall.. Many glance at it beauty and forget to see its meaning, let alone what's behind it.
Once there was a fish named Hollis. He loved swimming in the warm sea with the rest of the fish in his school. He was very happy.
And then one day, something amazing happened. He started to grow.
And he grew.
And he grew some more.
Soon, he was humongous!
Hollis was so big that he frightened the other fish. If Hollis wasn’t careful, he could crush the other fish with his enormous tail. And, the prospect of Hollis eating them for lunch was not an appealing thought at all.
Then one day the other fish went to the teacher to complain.
“Hollis has to go. He is way too big for our school,” said one fish.
“I keep getting kicked,” said another.
“I am afraid of him,” added a third. They all agreed. Hollis had to go.
His teacher was very sad.
He loved Hollis, but he knew the fish were right. He went to Hollis and explained the situation.
“Hollis, you are too big for our school,” said the teacher.
“I think you need to find some fish your own size.”
“Where will I go?” asked Hollis.
“This is the only school I have ever attended.”
“I don’t know,” said the teacher.
“But you can’t stay here. You are scaring the other fish and they do not want you around.”
Hollis was very sad.
He watched as the school swam away. He was now alone.
Hollis drifted through the water.
He had nowhere to go and nothing to do.
“Why can’t I be normal?” he asked.
“Hollis, what are you doing?” asked God.
Hollis was startled. God had never spoken to him before.
“I am sad,” said Hollis.
“I’m so big that none of the other fish want me around.
Why did you make me grow so big?”
“I created you for a very special purpose,” said God.
“Swim towards the setting sun and I will tell you what to do.”
Hollis obeyed.
He swam towards the sun.
He swam as fast as he could until he could no longer see the sun.
And then God spoke,
“Now, swim towards the North star.”
Hollis swam all night until he could no longer see the star.
And God spoke again, “See the storm clouds in the distance?”
“Yes Lord,” answered Hollis.
“Swim until you are in the middle of the storm,” said God.
Hollis swam until he was in the middle of the raging storm.
And then God asked,
“Do you see the ship?”
Hollis looked up and saw the hull of a ship.
“In a moment, a man will be thrown from that ship,” said God.
“He is my servant Jonah. I have a very important mission for him. I want you to swallow him and keep him safe.”
Up on the boat, all of the people were frightened by the raging storm.
They tried to row to safety, but the storm only got worse.
And then the men started saying,
“Someone must have angered their god. We should throw lots to see who is responsible for this storm.”
The men cast lots. It was revealed that Jonah was the guilty man.
“What have you done to put us all in such danger?” asked the captain of the ship.
“I was commanded by the one true God to go to the city of Nineveh and preach to the people,” said Jonah.
“I did not obey. That is why we are in this storm.”
“Please, pray to your God, so that we all might survive,” begged the Captain.
“Throw me into the sea,” said Jonah, “and your ship will be saved.”
The men grabbed Jonah and tossed him into the ocean. As soon as he hit the water, the storm ended. Everyone on board gave thanks to the one true God.
Under the boat, Hollis watched as Jonah sank in the sea.
He quickly swallowed Jonah with one big gulp.
“Hollis,” said God. “Swim towards the East.
When you see land, I will tell you what to do.”
For three days, Hollis swam towards the East.
As the sun rose on the third day, Hollis could see land in the distance.
“Hollis,” said God. “When you are close to the shore, I want you to spit Jonah out so that he may complete my mission.”
Hollis did exactly as God commanded and spit Jonah onto the land.
Jonah thanked God for sending Hollis and set out for Nineveh to complete God’s mission.
God asked Hollis, “Do you remember asking why you were so big?”
“Yes,” said Hollis.
“I created you to fulfill this very special purpose,” said God.
“Your story will be told throughout history to remind everyone that I have a plan for their life.”
As he swam away, he met a school of very large fish.
“Are you Hollis?” asked the teacher.
“Yes,” said Hollis.
“God said you would be coming,” said the teacher.
“We want you to join our school.” Hollis was very excited.
From that day on, He was a humongous and happy fish.
THE END
Its not that I'm seriously religious or anything. But I learnt bits and pieces in this story.. and there's a reason why things keep happening to us. So instead of thinking about how bad or how deep of a hole we are in, why not think about the disasters above that is happening without us being trapped in it'?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Kampar.. My New Home??
This is it then huh?.... UTAR... *looks out the window*
So its finally decided.... Took some time to drive all the way to a quite little town, with its beautiful scenery, its endless greenery and its appealing folk. Took some more time to disembark the car... look around.. feel the breeze brush my hair... the warm sun on my skin.... Aiyo.. dam dramatic hor?
Just came back from Kampar, Perak. A full 2 and a half hour drive past whizzing bikers, slow-poker lorries and slow-winding roads that make you just ever so sleepy... and we were there. Dad, mom and my little sis accompanied me all the way, and it was more like a journey to my impending destiny than just a normal 'Take-A-Look' kinda thing.
The journey started well... Though I was seriously sleepy..
The only picture this sad case of a phone could take of the faculty.. seriously.. its beautiful
UTAR was awesome. Seriously. Dynamically huge, fairly outstanding architecture, and most of all, the place was filled to the brim with pretty gi.. I mean... err... birds!! Yea birds! A vast lake stood at the side of the main office, and I tell you.. the serenity is murder. We took some time to talk to the people inside the office. One of the attendants, a Miss Chai, came forth, and we had a long discussion session about my future, if ever they wanted me, here in UTAR.
To worst... @@
I don't really know why.. but I really felt drawn to this place. I love the very idea of me being here.. Finishing my education and becoming someone useful one day.. and this was the place that was going to help me be that. That is... if they take me in... Apparently.. Art students had a higher chance as they had higher CGPAs.... Naturally... (I blame myself for not taking arts! *Banging head repeatedly on table*)
Photographee..... Photographer... (shud be the other way round hor?)
Yap.. U saw right.. Everyone's favourite Ci B... I mean Chicken Buscuits.....
Anyway... Miss Chai sai I had a high chance.. (couldn't help but notice the slight aversion of her eyes from mine when she said the word 'high chance') =.=''
So that would be it then... UTAR...
I might as well get packing.... (Ifffffff.... tat is..)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wa....
Going to Kampar tomorrow to see the newly built UTAR. Kinda nervous about it... There's a chance I might just enrol right there and then.. if there is an opening already. Its getting kinda teary at thought of it. I'm leaving my hometown soon... Going to miss alot of things down here, even if I get to visit on the odd holidays...
Anyway its dam late.. I'm sleepy.. So... yawn.
Anyway its dam late.. I'm sleepy.. So... yawn.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
What I'm Doing Now
1. Thinking.... =.='' (University Hunting lor...)
2. Listen to Jay Chou's 'Shuo Hao De Xing Fu Ne'?
3. Finishing up Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart
4. Leveling my Clown in xPKserver
5. Insomnia-ing.. Kenot sleeppppppp >.<
6. Missing someone in Australia xDD
7. Typing... *hand pain*
8. Staring at the monitor *blink*
9. Thinking summore... T.T
Supposed to go out sing k tomorrow... Maybe I'll just stay at home. =.=''
2. Listen to Jay Chou's 'Shuo Hao De Xing Fu Ne'?
3. Finishing up Jodi Picoult's Change of Heart
4. Leveling my Clown in xPKserver
5. Insomnia-ing.. Kenot sleeppppppp >.<
6. Missing someone in Australia xDD
7. Typing... *hand pain*
8. Staring at the monitor *blink*
9. Thinking summore... T.T
Supposed to go out sing k tomorrow... Maybe I'll just stay at home. =.=''
Listen!!!!!!
LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
There is a reason to almost everything. Almost. I say so because for all that's worth, I have known many people in my life. Some hate me for being myself. Others accept me for who I am. It may not seem like it but I never care what people think. ^^
Yet I loath to think that certain individuals could be that disheartening and sickening.
We have known each others for more years than you can count. yet.. it seems soooo much like that person just doesn't want me around. We have common goals, even been through thick and thin, through the odds. I cover that person, aid that person, risk it all and in the end, all I ever get from that person is retribution, hate and displeasure.
I can accept humiliation, and I have my flaws. But that doesn't mean mine are the worst. The best thing I like about my self is that I take myself for what I am worth. I am not greedy, and I would rather give then to receive. And if all that makes me a bad friend, then I can only hold up both hands and shrug my shoulders. Sorry to be a burden.
I can help cover and look over your shoulders. Because I value what we stand for. I value what it takes to be friends for so long, and above all, I am ready to aid. But if for a second, that aiding you is what I SHOULD be doing, that to help and guide and even provide when necesary is an OBLIGATION, then I am lost for words.
One favour, no matter how little comes a long way. That is what I've learnt. Yet, all you can do, is take, judge and trot over my words, to make yourself look better. I can live with that. You judge yourself to be better in everythin. I can live with that. You must have the best, in knowledge, best in history and background. Nobody can come close to comparing to you because you have the most in experience and because you can handle it all. You know them all. You are above it all. And you own it all. I can still live with that. Yet... you won't have enough of it.
I sometimes feel like I am being too good of a person. Time and time again I step aside. I take the blame. I take the wrongs. I am the fool, and you take the Kings. I pay the price when necessary, and still.. its not enough.
The only reason I keep this up, is because I value our friendship. And if, for a single second I was born to be this way, to cover and fill in the little mistakes you make. You are wrong. The mistakes you have made, can seem like a joke. Most of the time. I don't need you in my life. You happened to be in mine. So I let the strings loosen up. I do what I can to aid when there is the need for it. I slap myself on the back for that.
Do me a favour. Think about yourself for a second, and ponder upon it, nice and hard. Don't compare me with anyone else, because I am who I am, and I'm proud of it. I certainly hope you are too.
Because you never are.
Yet I loath to think that certain individuals could be that disheartening and sickening.
We have known each others for more years than you can count. yet.. it seems soooo much like that person just doesn't want me around. We have common goals, even been through thick and thin, through the odds. I cover that person, aid that person, risk it all and in the end, all I ever get from that person is retribution, hate and displeasure.
I can accept humiliation, and I have my flaws. But that doesn't mean mine are the worst. The best thing I like about my self is that I take myself for what I am worth. I am not greedy, and I would rather give then to receive. And if all that makes me a bad friend, then I can only hold up both hands and shrug my shoulders. Sorry to be a burden.
I can help cover and look over your shoulders. Because I value what we stand for. I value what it takes to be friends for so long, and above all, I am ready to aid. But if for a second, that aiding you is what I SHOULD be doing, that to help and guide and even provide when necesary is an OBLIGATION, then I am lost for words.
One favour, no matter how little comes a long way. That is what I've learnt. Yet, all you can do, is take, judge and trot over my words, to make yourself look better. I can live with that. You judge yourself to be better in everythin. I can live with that. You must have the best, in knowledge, best in history and background. Nobody can come close to comparing to you because you have the most in experience and because you can handle it all. You know them all. You are above it all. And you own it all. I can still live with that. Yet... you won't have enough of it.
I sometimes feel like I am being too good of a person. Time and time again I step aside. I take the blame. I take the wrongs. I am the fool, and you take the Kings. I pay the price when necessary, and still.. its not enough.
The only reason I keep this up, is because I value our friendship. And if, for a single second I was born to be this way, to cover and fill in the little mistakes you make. You are wrong. The mistakes you have made, can seem like a joke. Most of the time. I don't need you in my life. You happened to be in mine. So I let the strings loosen up. I do what I can to aid when there is the need for it. I slap myself on the back for that.
Do me a favour. Think about yourself for a second, and ponder upon it, nice and hard. Don't compare me with anyone else, because I am who I am, and I'm proud of it. I certainly hope you are too.
Because you never are.
GG
So how long has it been? 2 months? Every night it was the same schedule. One would call, and then we would all come out for a nice cup of tea. Dwell in the recent events that bother our lives and such. Then, a nice 'relaxing' game of Left 4 Dead.
These events are nice. Seriously. Gives me space.
Chee Kar, Robson, Chern Chiang and Wai Kit. The same people I know since my days in STPM. The same people who stood by me during my times of need, and the same people who were there to make me feel comfortable and excited about. We can chat through the nights, over simple cups of Teh-O-Ice-Limau and Milo, and laugh till we drop. Appreciate it, guys. Lol. And for the record, I still got the most infected kills, even if I fell from the rooftop and dropped to death. xD
Hak Chiu Bong... GG (ck, rob, me n cc) xDDD
B4 mok's lame jokes..... (He's on tat chicken thingy)
After Mok's lame jokes... =.=''
These events are nice. Seriously. Gives me space.
Chee Kar, Robson, Chern Chiang and Wai Kit. The same people I know since my days in STPM. The same people who stood by me during my times of need, and the same people who were there to make me feel comfortable and excited about. We can chat through the nights, over simple cups of Teh-O-Ice-Limau and Milo, and laugh till we drop. Appreciate it, guys. Lol. And for the record, I still got the most infected kills, even if I fell from the rooftop and dropped to death. xD
Hak Chiu Bong... GG (ck, rob, me n cc) xDDD
B4 mok's lame jokes..... (He's on tat chicken thingy)
After Mok's lame jokes... =.=''
Personal Space - Bittersweet STPM
There was a time when life was simple and ordinary. A time when you woke up in the morning with nothing but sweetdreams and cupcakes. A time when every passing moment made sense, and you knew what you had to do next. Then, those times begin to fade. You begin to encounter choices. And it gets more and more difficult from there on. How to tie your shoes, what clothes to wear, and it gets even more complicated.. the courses to study, what university you want to get into.... what to say on your first date.... And making these choices just isn't enough. You have to time it right, balance them properly. If you don't... the consequences are futile.
And that's who I am. A badly made choice. Dreams were meant to be made out of hope and desire, passion to acieve and will to strive towards achieving it. But yet.. along the road, I've made many... well, choices that were less than to my liking. Regret is only a fraction of the true feeling I face. Taking up STPM was my latest endeavor.
Thinking back (Well, its only been 3 months ago), I felt a little foolish. After graduating form 5, I got splendid results for my SPM (11As and a B), and from there, I thought.. hey! I'm good eh? I started to get over my head for some time, thinking that I have come far. By all means, I decided that I could handle STPM.... aka the Second Toughest Examination In The World. Only now do I realise that you don't stay high up forever. Nobody does. In which I had to learn to face my own demons in the worst way I could imagine.
Things went rather well in the first year. Friends, the same old environment (I went back to my alma mater), and the new challenges seemed like a good start. Then, it began to get taxing. Increasing amounts of work. Rising in the level of diffficulty in the questions. I knew I made a bad move. STPM was nothing that I could ever imagined. But by the time I realised it, I was in too deep. Naturally, you fight till the finish. But I.. made one of the worst decicions in my life. I quit. I gave up, on the spot and on the dot.
Eventually, I flunked all of my papers in class, all but MUET, since English actually appealed to me. I even happened to be the best in my class, yet it was a subject that carried little weight on the shoulders of my future. And just when things could'nt get any worst. STPM dawned. The real thing. The entire enchilada. And on the day before I stepped into the exam hall, I knew.. that my life was over.
3 months had past since I took that examination. I spent most of my time fighting to forget about what I've been through. I didn't want to talk about it, think about it, discuss or even listen to anything people had to say about ever taking that ridiculous course. I got so worked up over it I begin to find that I was losing myself. But I didn't care. I just wanted out. And then... it came. the 10th of March 2009. D-day. To most... it was the day their hard work was to be rewarded and judged. To me... it was time to face the music.
I went rather late that day... deciding to drag it on and on, refusing to face the fact that I was going to accept reality.
12.05pm
I drew a long breath, and headed out of the house. the 25 minutes in the car alongside my mother was tedious.... I refrained from discussing about it. I kept telling myself.. I deserved everything that was going to happen. But I knew.. Deep down.. that I haven't tried my best.. at all. In fact.. I realised that I have been a coward, hiding behind the reality, refusing to accept the fact that for once in my life, I have met my limits.
12.35 pm
Word on the hallways said that the results have bee delayed by a bit, and would be out by 1pm.
1.25pm
Still no word of the results. The testimonials have been signed for and received. I made it clear to myself that I could show no resentment. Yet nobody could notice the falsity of my expressions. Everyone was too nervous.
1.45pm
Down at the canteen. Hannah was being jovial like she always was. Chee Kar, Robson, Wai Kit, Chern Chiang.. the same gang that stood with me during the entire holidays indulging in xPKserver online.... Now sat at the same table. I tried not to look too worried. Fact is.. I was. Terrified rather. Till Pn. Chan, our Chemistry teacher approached the table, a smile on her face. She patted each of us on the shoulders, and told us that we had done rather well. I was nervous. Psychology was playing mind games with me. She finally looked at me, and said, 'Zhi Wang.. Not bad oso la...' Reliefed? Nah... I told myself that it was jsut words of comfort. I had knew that I was not going to like what I was going to see.
1.56pm
It was time. Everyone crowded in the little Physics lab to take waht would be the paper that would judge thier hardwork and toil over the past 18 months. I was petrified by then, but hoaxed myself into staying calm and collected. And there it was. In my hands... my name written in bold across the front. Three neat tears away. Aliaric beamed opposite me, beckoning me to open it faster. And whe I finally did... I was dumbfounded.
Without considering little faults and complications. I had a 3.0 CGPA.
The most shocking was the fact that I scored a B for my Physics... when I never bothered to read it up. and another B- for my Chemistry?? WTF?? I was barely passing that paper. I could have broken down and cried!!
After not passing up my Math homework. Literally ignoring notes in class. Barely able to pass my Physics and chatting over lame jokes in Economics and I was given a 3.0 pointer???? I was estatic. A part of me said I didn't get an A and I deserved to just drop dead, roll over and die. But the other part of me, the part that is still with me while I am typing this, was actually downright happy!! I thought of myself as a failure, and yet, I have a chance to get into a Universiy as well.
Fairly pleased, yet I knew this wasn't going to be my parent's expectations. So, all I have to say.. is that I was lucky. I deserved less, and I was, in fact, really lucky. The next part of my University life (not sure if they want me... but I have to try) will be made out of a well learnt lesson.
I know I can never make the same mistake twice.
And that's who I am. A badly made choice. Dreams were meant to be made out of hope and desire, passion to acieve and will to strive towards achieving it. But yet.. along the road, I've made many... well, choices that were less than to my liking. Regret is only a fraction of the true feeling I face. Taking up STPM was my latest endeavor.
Thinking back (Well, its only been 3 months ago), I felt a little foolish. After graduating form 5, I got splendid results for my SPM (11As and a B), and from there, I thought.. hey! I'm good eh? I started to get over my head for some time, thinking that I have come far. By all means, I decided that I could handle STPM.... aka the Second Toughest Examination In The World. Only now do I realise that you don't stay high up forever. Nobody does. In which I had to learn to face my own demons in the worst way I could imagine.
Things went rather well in the first year. Friends, the same old environment (I went back to my alma mater), and the new challenges seemed like a good start. Then, it began to get taxing. Increasing amounts of work. Rising in the level of diffficulty in the questions. I knew I made a bad move. STPM was nothing that I could ever imagined. But by the time I realised it, I was in too deep. Naturally, you fight till the finish. But I.. made one of the worst decicions in my life. I quit. I gave up, on the spot and on the dot.
Eventually, I flunked all of my papers in class, all but MUET, since English actually appealed to me. I even happened to be the best in my class, yet it was a subject that carried little weight on the shoulders of my future. And just when things could'nt get any worst. STPM dawned. The real thing. The entire enchilada. And on the day before I stepped into the exam hall, I knew.. that my life was over.
3 months had past since I took that examination. I spent most of my time fighting to forget about what I've been through. I didn't want to talk about it, think about it, discuss or even listen to anything people had to say about ever taking that ridiculous course. I got so worked up over it I begin to find that I was losing myself. But I didn't care. I just wanted out. And then... it came. the 10th of March 2009. D-day. To most... it was the day their hard work was to be rewarded and judged. To me... it was time to face the music.
I went rather late that day... deciding to drag it on and on, refusing to face the fact that I was going to accept reality.
12.05pm
I drew a long breath, and headed out of the house. the 25 minutes in the car alongside my mother was tedious.... I refrained from discussing about it. I kept telling myself.. I deserved everything that was going to happen. But I knew.. Deep down.. that I haven't tried my best.. at all. In fact.. I realised that I have been a coward, hiding behind the reality, refusing to accept the fact that for once in my life, I have met my limits.
12.35 pm
Word on the hallways said that the results have bee delayed by a bit, and would be out by 1pm.
1.25pm
Still no word of the results. The testimonials have been signed for and received. I made it clear to myself that I could show no resentment. Yet nobody could notice the falsity of my expressions. Everyone was too nervous.
1.45pm
Down at the canteen. Hannah was being jovial like she always was. Chee Kar, Robson, Wai Kit, Chern Chiang.. the same gang that stood with me during the entire holidays indulging in xPKserver online.... Now sat at the same table. I tried not to look too worried. Fact is.. I was. Terrified rather. Till Pn. Chan, our Chemistry teacher approached the table, a smile on her face. She patted each of us on the shoulders, and told us that we had done rather well. I was nervous. Psychology was playing mind games with me. She finally looked at me, and said, 'Zhi Wang.. Not bad oso la...' Reliefed? Nah... I told myself that it was jsut words of comfort. I had knew that I was not going to like what I was going to see.
1.56pm
It was time. Everyone crowded in the little Physics lab to take waht would be the paper that would judge thier hardwork and toil over the past 18 months. I was petrified by then, but hoaxed myself into staying calm and collected. And there it was. In my hands... my name written in bold across the front. Three neat tears away. Aliaric beamed opposite me, beckoning me to open it faster. And whe I finally did... I was dumbfounded.
Without considering little faults and complications. I had a 3.0 CGPA.
The most shocking was the fact that I scored a B for my Physics... when I never bothered to read it up. and another B- for my Chemistry?? WTF?? I was barely passing that paper. I could have broken down and cried!!
After not passing up my Math homework. Literally ignoring notes in class. Barely able to pass my Physics and chatting over lame jokes in Economics and I was given a 3.0 pointer???? I was estatic. A part of me said I didn't get an A and I deserved to just drop dead, roll over and die. But the other part of me, the part that is still with me while I am typing this, was actually downright happy!! I thought of myself as a failure, and yet, I have a chance to get into a Universiy as well.
Fairly pleased, yet I knew this wasn't going to be my parent's expectations. So, all I have to say.. is that I was lucky. I deserved less, and I was, in fact, really lucky. The next part of my University life (not sure if they want me... but I have to try) will be made out of a well learnt lesson.
I know I can never make the same mistake twice.
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