Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Its taken over...

Yup. Its taken over. Now, its really here. I can feel it in my bones, my eyes. When I think,, when I smile. Its not the old me anymore. He's taken over. This antagonistic character inside me. He's been hiding in here. For so long. Finally, I gave him a reason to come out. Into the open. How foolish of me.

But he's only here, cuz I want him here. I was the one who created him. Now, let him protect me, let him make me see why my life needs rekindling.

Alas, the sun will always shine upon the land. But once the sun stops shining, and the earth starts to dry, the Rain God will appear, and ease the pain and suffering. Is he Rain God, or a demon in the making? I'll know soon enough, but will I have the courage to suppress him when the time comes?'

Monday, March 14, 2011

Facebook speed down solution!


Guys... I have to say a big thx to Dawa Law, an old fren of mine for coming up with an ingenious way to mend the slow facebook page problem. Its awesome! Try it out by going to his website here!



Sunday, March 13, 2011

Monday Blues






So!
Its Sunday night, and for all the right reasons my last mid term paper was done. I have loads more to do, class in the morning at 8.00am, a meeting sch
eduled after that, 2 more assingments to complete, a marketing proposal to write and some money to make.


So it leave me with one question. WHy am I still feeling so down?

They say u cant start the week without feeling the Monday Blues. Dam straight. I'm feeling them now.



I so hate the blues...

GOnna make a video next week for a marketing campaign. Hope it'll b cool enuff to catch people's attention tho. =) maybe go for some video classes.

Oh and Alex's finally letting me learn the guitar. And its free. Hoho~ Who says working for Alex Mah doesn't pay off? It works in marvelous ways if you ask me. =)

So yes, I'll start emo posting again very soon. Not sure when, but soon. For now, I just want to close my eyes and lie back for a while.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Funny

Its been a full month now. Or so I think it has been. Nothing much has changed for me physically, but mentally I've grown stronger. How do I know? Bcuz I'm back to being the old me.

Old me, new me. I know deep down within myself that they both exist. Because of my insecurity, because of my hunger, my thirst for success. I remember back when I was young, everything was there when I wanted it. I knew nothing, I did nothing. All I ever had to do was study. Life was easy. At the age of 16, however, for the first time, I made a decision, to stand up for what I believed was my own 'path' to follow. Till today, I still wondered if I stood up for the right reasons, if it was even worth it. Everyday was a race to prove myself, to my family, my frens. Then one day, at a time of loneliness and sorrow... He appeared. He was strong, confident, and had the hunger and thirst for perfection. He offered me aid, and I reached out to him. From that moment on, I became stronger, better, faster, more eager, more focused. I saw things I've never seen before, did things I never knew I was capable of. Things became easier. But as time went by, I realised that he had a weakness. Everytime we did something together, he would always go too far. He was obsessive, a perfectionist. He was moody, aggresive, and unstable. But he was powerful. I needed him.

It was then that I realised it was all my imagination. But it was too late. I had 2 people in me right now. The new me - subtle, easy-going, humble and kind. And the old me - aggresive, prudent and strong. But as long as I shifted to the 'old' me, terrible things will happen to myself. Things that go beyond my control.

It took me years, but I managed to keep these 'characters' within me in check. My 'demon' and my 'human' nature. But the world will only get crueller, and the demon side has already bagun to swallow me whole. I hope, that for my own sake, things do not get out of hand.

I don't want my old self to take over again. But I need him. Right now....