Emotions

'It's getting outta hand now, really. I cant seem to face the fact that every where I turn, they look me in the eye. In fact, they did nothing but carry on with thier own lives, but still, its as though they pierce through me, like a hot knife through butter.' - afternoon, 2.24pm, outside DDK1.

Something well, disturbing happened today. For one thing, I don't like to consider myself a fool. Many more reasons for me to dislike people taking me for one as well. The entire thing can't go public, so I'll write with words and descriptiosn and metaphors the blurr the bloody thing up. Imagine trusting people. Imagine believing in someone with all your heart, but in the end your heart gets played with and toyed upon, as those you were nothing more than a pawn at the edge of a fishing rod. I had a rediculous scenario today. A couple of us got into something together, which I believed to have been preplanned. But many moments later, we became more or less alienated. Ok. The feelings were all mushed up. Felt like someone swallowing you whole then spitting you out. I was played for a fool.

Dissapointment? Yeah. Depression? Oh yeah.... Anger? Hell yeah! What am I gonna do about it? Nah... Nothing. Got used to it.

Feeling upset, but doing nothing about it.