So ok. Found some time to pour things out again. Everything went back to the way nature and its order intended it to be. Nothing misplaced, out-cast or tucked away un-neededly. All except this gaping hole of emptiness and hollow feelings that is engulfing me right now.
Its hard to discribe... There is that part of me. The normal, everyday, non-chalant me that tells myself 'Everything's fine. Life's good. Nothing to be blue about.' Then there's this emerging part of me that is soooo megre, so tiny... so insignificant but yet screaming out at me, telling me sumthing is wrong here. Somethings not quite right... Something... is out of place.
Yet I cant figure out what that something is.
=/
So I got back from another gathering today. RO frens and all. Left the house at 2.15 (thx to CC) and once at the LRT station, decided to take the KTM straight there. I 'assured' him it was the fastest way. Yea... Fast indeed.... 3 stations away... and the train betrayed us. T.T It came about 30 mins late. When we finally got on it was 3.30pm.... Sing K was supposed to start at 3pm. Joy~
But I wasn't wrong. We weren't last. GG.
Karaoke lasted for 4 hrs. Seriously. Insane. Felt nice to be able to sing n express myself again. Felt good. Yet... That's when all the trouble started.
I felt.. Well... crushed. Every song, every tune, every nicked tone or out-of-tuned tune, every low beat and high pitch, rap number and fuzzy RnB. It made me well.. quizzy. It brought back memories. Happy ones. Sorrowful ones. Some I had tucked away in my pillow and memories only to turn it over today to find them again. Some I never wanted to remember ever again. The melodies kinda reminded me of my chilhood, you noe. THose days when you were happy-go-lucky and could do without the pressure and pain. Then all the highs and lows of life. My first test. My first fren. My first crush... It all came back like a torrential flood. Merciless. Yet intriguing and full of nostalgia.
Maybe I'm overreacting.. But its so wierd... Every different song brought back a different person. A different part of me. It kinda made me realise what I've lost. What I've gained. What I've become.
Then apart from that, it was just fun to go high pitch and freak ppl out. xD
After the karaoke, makan. Mamak. Yay~
My plate of mee goreng ayam was RM7.00. No~
Plus drinks. RM2.40. Hell No~
Seeing Kira,Kwok,Iko n Reen acting crazy throughout the day. Priceless~
It was supposed to end with a movie. But we ended up going for Left4Dead instead. Lol. And yes... we lost. Cuz Reen pointed the gun at the Hunter that pounced on Kwok and was shouting 'What do I do? What do I do?' Background: Shoot la!!!! Then Robson owned everyone. (Swt... Bommer 10000km away oso can headshot??? walao eh) And Mok trie to paly hero. Until he realised Boomers make a lot of noise, and they dont, I mean don't make a good stalker. (Bluehhh. Bluehh. Urghhhhh. BibaBoom. Chik-Chik (Rob's shotgun))
Well.. bottomline. Kira didn't make it home in time for war. Iko was emo, yet she still sang beautifully. (Dam she's good! xD) Kwok was well.. Kwok. Mok was still intact. Reen was overly pink and hor** ahem* (must be cuz rob wasn't thr... T.T we became replacement sheep). CC was overjoyed about everything. Tricky sang too, and he's oso geng. And Robson was well... absent until the L4D part.
Lost in thought la now. It was a happy and fun-filled day. But something within me is totally screwed up. And the worst part is I cant tell what it is. Its like having a peanutbutter sandwich in the morning, then for the first time in your life you have the inkling that the peanut butter is not as sweet and tangy as it used to be.
Maybe my point of view is changing.
Maybe I'm changing.
Maybe not.
I don't know.
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