Back... -.-''

Finally!! I mean wat the hell was all that about? I had to wait fer almost 20 days just to get a fix of that blogging-high. (yummy!), no thanks to the fact that my laptop's destroyed and had to be sent back to the factory.

xDDD

Man ohhh man... so much to talk about. Lalalala~

Exams are apporaching real soon. I mean like 8days 13 hours 4minutes and 45 seconds soon. As much as I want to say 'Bring It On!'... I cant... Of all the subjects to worry about, Business Accounting is really bugging me in a very bad way. I hardly wen tfor any of the classes, I attended the tutorials only thrice, and now I'm stuck with a very very bold choice to make - drop it and focus on the others, which I;m sure I can get an A if I did, or die trying, and risk everything. T.T headache....

Secondly, it F*KING boring here!!! T.T My daily routine turned from msn+facebook+textin+emailin+stalkin ppl on9 to .... nothing. >.< Nothing. Just blank. Wake up, sleep. Eat. Sleep. Wake up. UUrgh!! Its driving me nuts!!!

My laptop better be back soon or I'm gonna lose it.

Basically lots happened as well amidst this boringness. But that will have to wait a looong while. T.T

So the lowdown for today:

I played DOTA and won for the first time. xDDD

Tats it. I'm out. Until I find the mood to start bloggin again.

Hey I'm 2...1111??!!! Woah wait a minute!!

Ok.. heres the thing. I just had my burfday cake (thx mom n dad, it was good! xD), just blew the candles, and now... wtf?! I'm 21!!!

Dad gave me a lecture on responsibility and the world I'm now accessing into. No more teenage dreams. Cuz from now on, I bear the family name. (ok... tats serious...)

I can now vote! Yes! =p

I can now get into Zouk!! Oh yesh!! sweet!!

I can now get access into banking accounts, sign contracts, invest, buy cars, get loans, make companies!! AWESOME!!!

and then..

... I'll get jailed for committing crimes. (o.0'')

..I'll get into legal trouble everytime I screw up. (o.0'''''''''')

....I'm totally liable for any damn thing I do, can ppl can sue me. (>.<''''''''''''''''''''')

OMG!!! Can I turn back the time please!!!! AAAAhhhh!!!!! Nuuu!!!

'Just kidding. I'm really enjoying my burfday. With the wishes and all. ^^ Thx loads guys, and gals.'

Wednesday...

Called UTAR finally, and no, i'm not barred. Which is strange. Then why did they call me?

Going home tomorrow, cnt wait.

WAkakakakakakakaka!!!Wee~~!

A bag of peanuts, a can of rootbeer, and a world inside my head

Occasionally, things pop up in my head in a variaty of ways. Just the other day I had the darn tune 'Shorty's like a melody in my head that I can;t keep out, got me singing... Nanana... 'It was fun, yet awfully annoying. I ended up having insomnia the whole night. Thing is, when I woke up, I had these bunch of plans and ideas for one hell of a big project.

So I've been spending the last few hours today trying to basically recall those shards and pieces and trying to place them back together. Naturally, the ideas are all intact now, and I think its safe to say we have something we can work with here. Jake and Alex gave me thier consent earlier today, and I'm seeing a whole world of opportunities before us. Wahahaha!!! *terms and conditions applied

That aside, its getting awfully.. well.. awful. Thursday's the day I'm finally going back to KL, again after a month without having a chance to see my family for so long. I guess absence really does make the heart fonder.

The finals are coming. Its more than a month away, but it's feeling like its tomorrow. Getting all queezy even having to think about it. Dad gave me a good boost in my goal-setting. LSE's now really within reach, as long as I keep the grades up. =p

The awful part? Stress. I cant sleep at night.

Even worst than tat? Haunted. I'm thinking too much. Grr!!

Sure hope something nice happens to me after all this. It's really... well... a blardy anticlimax from the spirit-lifting month of February. I'm getting all dried up from boredrom, like a piece of laundry out in the sun.

Oh yes and there's the results. SOmehow my mid-term 2 didn't fare as well as I had expected it to be. Turns out my overconfidence got the better of me. So now I'm basically 0.6 marks below Jake. (I noe.. impossible right? I'm like soo... this!!! And he's like so... that!!! It's like... no way! Right?! *pardon the bitch talk. I'm feeling edgy. Wakakakakakaka!!

Missing the people back in KL again. Aliaric, Chern CHiang, Robson, Wai Kit, Teck Juan, Wey Sheng, Wy-san, Chun Leong, Vivian, Pei Gin and even taht backdoor neighbour Wei Yi!

Awwhhman.... I wanna go home!! But teratai's boring! I wanna go home but I dun wanna stay at home. Let's go clubbing or something! xDD

But I'm short on cash.. T.T

I noe. Mayb it'll work out if I did something tat does cost a lot, but still brings equal pleasure and maximum satisfaction. (No, its not Orange, Asia Cafe, or watever). I think I'll backpack!

Yeah!!! (its was actually decided I'm going to Sabah with Jake on the 18th. Just wanted to mae it dramatic. xDD)

So yesh! Something to look forward to there. Let's see... Then theres.. ah yes.

UTAR called me I think, wait, *checks clock* 2 days ago. Didn;t call back. Its a blardy office line with thousands of extensions, and what? They expect me to call back?! Then at least tell me who the fak to call to!! Alex Mah's saying it's either I owe them cash, I'm barred from taking an exam, or miscellanous.

-.-''

Wat miscellanous? I'm not filling in some application form ok? *Lain-lain ka?

I'm guessing the barred problem, but I can't be sure. Think I'll try and find the DSA tomoro. ZzZ...

Ok rant rant.... rant summore and .. oh yesh. I'm having a 'simple' birthday bash at my place, 22 2/7D Teratai. Already sent out the invites but due to the uncomfirmed time, I'll keep u ppl posted, I guess. I cant even tell myself to wake up in time for a 9am class.

Those little ones from Kampar are coming down too. So weee~

To sum things up.

I MISS U GUYS!!!!

I HATE EXAMS~!!!!

I WANNA GO TO SABAH TOMORROW!!!!

I NEED MORE POTATO CHIPS~~ *munch*!!! OK NOW I DON:T NEED MORE POTATO CHIPS, BUT I STILL NEED TO PLAN A SECRET-YET-RANDOMLY-AWESOME-TAKEOVER EVENT!!! excited.. weee~~!!!

^.^ ok satisfied. Nite!!

'The above was more likely to be what experts call a dose of selfrantophilanthomythosis. It's a rare yet dangerous illness, that causes any individual sad enough to have it to start talking to himself in the corner of his mind, and then having the audecity to embarass himself by putting those thoughts into words. But who cares? As long as the author's happy, there's nothing much the experts have to say about it. Besides, who noes better? Wahahaha!!!'

Fear

I guess its about time I open this up to myself and talk aboout it. I'm already 21 (few days to go, watever), and its time I actually reflect on what I want, what I need and what I wish for. Sadly, I guess there's just this weakness within me, that everytime I wake up, I lose that 'fire' that was burning up within me,a dn I go back to being square uno again. But times change and people (especially bumps like me) need to change as well.

So what am I still afraid of? All this time, instead of facing the truth and putting my all into doing things I know I can do, I end up only reminiscing on things that I shud hav, but someone else had already taken it first. Its sad to think that I am a lsave to confidence, when in fact I have a bucket load of it, but I was just too wimpy to let it loose.

What am I afraid of? I guess its time I face the truth. I'm afraid of losing. That's my biggest phobia. Losing a game, losing a battle, losing a fren. I hate the thought of it. But as I am now, I developed a new way to overcome this phobia, ignore it. Become second. Let someone else do the fall. Becuase when ur second, u'll never get the blame. No matter how many times, in every damn thing I do, I always have the same attitute. Some call it taking a step back. I know its called denial. I never tried to outdo myself, I just take a step back and let others do that.

I guess thats why people grow up, and I never do.

My fear... is of myself.

As of today, 29th March 2010, 5.42am, no matter 2012 comes or not, no matter what happens in the near future, I promise, that I'll take that step I've never done before in my life - I'll take that frikin risk, even if it means killing myself.

'The real fool is not the one asking the question and gets laughed at, its the one who knows the answer but never had the chance to speak his mind.'

Earth Hour

Lolz. I only got to participate for the last 10 minutes. I did switch off my lights and went to bed for the rest of the night, though.

Soree mother Earth!!

=p

Sickening

U noe its rather a race for power these days. I can sense it in your eyes, the way you act, the way you try to talk smooth. To my dear fren, it's not a fair thing to do. Indeed, you own the most capabilities to socialize and befren anyone, but your attitude is far beyond bad, its revolting.

I've just got my head set right today, and from what I see, I think there needs to be some kind of change here, before things get out of hand. I was indeed dissapointed when it did not involve several of my buddies. The worst, is when I realise now, that the main problem is not about you. Its my 'frens' I tot I could trust as well. Guys.. if u think that power and position is more important, so much so that you can break this promise we have of sharing every damn thing together, then lemme tell you this.

'U do something nice for me, and I'll repay it back 10 times more. U do something bad to me, then u bet I'll do the same to you'.

I was a fool to keep queit for so long.

U think, for a second, that a silent lamb is silent forever, then you continue tat way. I can do things to u you can never imagine.

Backtracking on myself...

These days its no longer the same anymore. Scars... I have em. Pain, I feel em all the time. But not like this. Not one bit as close to as this. This hurt.. this new form of agony, is something I cannot understand, no matter nhow deep I try to find out. I've questioned myself so many times... and just recently.. I guess I found the answer.

I opened my heart, 100%, for the second time in my life. No one has ever done that to me, and now, someone did. LMAO.

I let go, true, but my heart did not. A part of my being and my soul is somewhere I will never get back.

Only time can heal those wounds I guess.

These few weeks have been, well... bland.

I've been slightly lost in direction. I've been wandering around my own world, losing all sense of direction. I don;t know what to do, what I want, what I wish for.

Thx to Aliaric, I guess I know what I need to do now. Its not my fault, but getting too attached is something I'll have to work out on myself. My emotions have all been jumbled up 360 degrees. My language is degrading itself, I'm losing time to being sobre and feeling sorry for my own ass, I'm getting overly aggressive at every damn thing. Just that day, Siew Li was kind enough to fetch us all to Uni, and one the way, the guards slowed us down. One of them wanted me to put on the tag, which I refused. I did not know why. I almost wanted to get out of the car, slam the door, grab any damn thing I could find and smash it on his head. It was an awful feeling. Worst, Cheng You was actually laughing in front, and I told him to shut up. I was never angrier in this entire month than I was on that day.

I went home that day, and basically tried to calm myself down.

Today, when I woke up, I knew something was different. I knew, from the moment I stepped out of the shower, sat down on the study table, and reached out for the QT notes, that I was getting somewhere. Becasue today, I felt lighter.

Time really does do wonders, if you just let it. I was a fool, and I apologize to those I've hurt in the process of getting my head cleared. I'm just an amatuer in this relationship thingy, and I realise now that matters only get worst if we blame it on ourselves. We gotta stay open about these things. =p

Thx lots and lots to Alz and Jake for being there when I needed a fren. U guys I owe alot to.

Lolz

Hey guess wat. I guess I'm back to being the one-man-show-stoppin' me again. xDDD

Back to being single again.

Memories

Memories. Sweet, bitter, sour, spicy, hot, delicious, unforgettable, humilitating, despisable, disgraceful, disgusting. What are they for and waht do they mean to people like me? I can;t tell you a definite answer, but I'm sure as hell confirmed that my memories are always where the heart is.

Coming here to UTAR, I've been the luckiest man this semester. I've gotten the chance to know many kinds of new people, tried many new experiences, and most of all, I've got the chance to take on new challenges. The memories I've collected here are priceless, and I'll definitely never forget any of them.

I guess the most bitter sweet memories are for all to know, but I am darn sure, that they will still remain as a part of who I am.

Mr. Lim Zhi Wang, I think its time you grow the hell up and listen to your heart. We all have a reason to live for, and grimmacing and listening to emo music and drinking cheap and bitter (actually I hate it) beer doesn;t make you the million-dollar CEO you wanna be.

I'm gonna take life real serious this time.

'Quoting a random song - 'Thanks for the memories!' ;-)